Peterson Toscano's A Musing

Becoming Myself

I take a break from the Super Bowl (it's a USA thing) to write this post.

Last week after my Homo No Mo show in Portland, I felt moved to write this post about Survivors. As soon as it published, I checked my e-mails and had just received one from a person named Lowell Greenberg. He had attended my show that night and wrote me about some of his own experience.

Lowell's message resonated with what I had just written, and after getting his permission, I now post it for you. Thanks Lowell!

I was in the closet for at least thirty years- very lonely- still me- but not really alive. That is a very long time. My life has changed dramatically in the last few years. I am out, gay, beautiful, successful and pursuing a spiritual life that is magical and deeply meaningful.

Four years ago, I was close to suicide. Ultimately I made a choice- to live or to be who I was. Becoming gay was very natural for me- since I was gay. Right now, even more than gay, I am becoming myself. New people are flowing into my life that give me joy and understand me at a deep soul level.

Years ago, I wrote these thoughts about coming out:

I am gay, out & proud, so the issue of LGBT rights obviously has a special poignancy and significance in my life. While my homosexuality is only one aspect of my character, acceptance of it is fundamental to my happiness and well being. Society's lack of acceptance is therefore a tragic reminder of the importance of being who I am and the struggle that can entail.

Even though we seek to live our lives with joy- we cannot but be made to feel powerless- in part for who we are, for not accepting what society says we should be. Every time there is a denial of rights, a slight, an injustice it cannot but effect us and remind us of who we are and what that means in this world. It is this experience that binds us as a community and we all share it.

You can learn a little bit more about Lowell here and read some of his musings here.

posted by Peterson Toscano @ 6:29 PM